The Bread and the Wine

by Jack Kelly

I

The skies ache with snow – 
      with forever-weeks 
	of white castings. 

When the sun breaks through, 
    she enlightens mine soul, warms
       my skin after so many hours 
	sitting 
       with mine back to the winds –

 O mine fingers are numb, 
      face-flesh numb, blue-eyes 
	watery, 
      O the cold-ache 
      of mine eyes – 

II

I feel myself growing 
    in the sun’s heat, 
I feel myself coming alive as 
    the red-flower’s petals 
	expand. 

I am the green spring’s bud, 
      waiting for the frost to cease, 
	waiting in a blanket of skin,
      smooth, impenetrable, lovely, 
	     soft and velvety – 
          waiting to unsheathe and 
		open wide, 
		revealing myself 

      unto the tall-reaching trees 
	bending 
	with the winds, 
	      showing myself 

to the pine needles fallen, 
to the crisp-dry grasses 
	now pale, 
	dying on the surface 
	but alive 

beneath the frozen ground, 
      ready to lift up toward 
	the tops 
	and breach: new-birth, born,
		rejuvenation – 

III

I pray to Christ, 
      peaceable, understanding, 
	doleful dark eyes, 
	ironed, crossed, 
	    thorn-crowned, 
	    leaking love’s blood – 

	Pouring from his lips 
	      are souls, redemption, 
		fallibility: 

the herd of water-cattle 
	protect their young 
	and infirm kin, 
	    black-skinned, horned, 
	    quiet-eyed but driven 
		furious 
		by the lioness 
		seeking 
		a bite:

	a claw in the flesh, 
	    exorcising the spirit, 
	       draining the spirit. 

The oxen-souls are above the herd, 
      floating, heroic, 
      brimming to the starry heavens, 
	against the black of night, 
	against the growing cold 
  	      of night-winds howling 
		      through 
		      the silhouettes 
		      of trees –

IV

I pray to Buddha, recumbent, 
      sitting forever below 
      the boughs of a tree, 
            listening to the river-waters 
	lapping against 
	the grasses, 
	    against 
	    other waters, 
	        singing 
		the dribble-dribble 
		ripples. 

	He, not knowing himself, 
	      wonder-wanders 
		about the mind, 

forgets his body, 
displaces his weight, 
	loosens 
	the tired joints: 
	the knee-joints, the back, 
	the arthritic-locked fingers.

He casts aside the hut 
      of timber and stone – 
	he forgets his hunger, 
	he rises from 
	his skin and bone
 	and red sinew-flesh, 
	veins and fingernail. 

He becomes the Earth, 
   catches the Nirvana-wisps 
       within his soft palms. 

He cups it, carries 
      his free-flying self 
	over the rocky deserts, 
	the grasses and 
	limber forests 

rolling about the bases 
of blue-mountains capped with 
             snowy-peaks: 

bright, catching the light of 
	the rising sun, 
	red and heated –

V

I pray to Muhammad, the indistinct,
      energetic, ascendant – 
	his body and face atomized,
		permeating, 
		clear-flowing, 
		divisible, 
	evanescent and sagacious:

	his songs are in the airs, 
	      in the tunes, 
	      in the rhythmic beauties,

in the sounds of ten-thousand 
      children singing 
      his name, breathing in 

		his voice 
		and releasing 
		his mind 

as the arrow splits-free 
	from the bow, 
	taut-stringed, curved, 
	    beautifully polished, 
		darkwood of rarity, 
		playing, caressing 

through the airs, 
rising ten-thousand miles above 
	Medina and 
	Jerusalem, 

	fingers brushing past 
  		all of Asia, 
		the East, the West, 

touching all souls wandering 
    ‘round the Earth, reflecting 
     themselves 

	in his solemn gaze, 
	his guiding hand, 
	his hold upon my body – 
		he rushes by me 
		in a pulse, 

scattering through the tree-tops, 
	along the beach-sands, 
	through the desert-lands and
		clay-cities, 

along the tracks 
of wooden carts 
and roads 

	of one-thousand years 
	towing purple wine 
		and flowers, 
		seeds, wheat, 
		slender blue-fish 
		sold within 
		the market-places, 
		alleys, 

children tapering away, the distance,
	scampering so lightly 
	to their mothers, 
	     brushing through 
	     the cloth-veiled doorways,
		rushing to 
		their beds, 

waking in the night, 
      reading by the flame of light 
           the rumblings of God.

VI

Feel my body 
      wading down 
	the river, 

feel my heels click 
      against the rocks, 
      dark, the many colored rocks – 

follow mine body wading by 
	the banks, watch me 
		in the grasses 
		peeking. 

Watch mine eyes glow 
	with the sunlight. 
		Hear the Earth 
		close shut. 

A wooden door 
	creaks open and 
		the black-night gown 
		      falls down 
		      upon our heads.

The Earth is cool – 
	the river gives off 
		an air, a chill. 

Her bending-down 
	and showing 
		and kissing 
		         is all over. 

The night-locusts sing 
      with the summertime-thrush, 
	bursting sounds 
	from their wings 
	      and black claws 
	      and black mandibles. 

VII

Hold mine hand 
      as I hold you 
	in the black. 

Crawl up to mine chest, 
      lay down with me 
      in the weeds, amongst 
	the pebbled shore 
	of ten thousand-thousand 
			stones. 

Watch me 
	beneath the bridge 
		undress 
		and immerse – 
			Let’s baptize
			ourselves –

VIII

I will crucify 
	myself 
	for you.
I’ll pay mine pound of flesh 
	for your sin, 
		and my sins 
			will be 
			with yours – 
We’ll drop 
    our skins 
    into the dark waters; 
	our meat 
	will sweat 
	off the bone and 
	dabble downwards toward 
	the rivers, to the seas. 

You and I shall dance beneath 
	these one-hundred tracks 
		for trains, these 
		      scuttles of lumber,
stone, 
and coal billowing 
      from the lungs, 
	burning, 

	spitting upwards
		ash 
	      high into the sky-night, 
		          the star-night. 

Yea, we’ll dance 
      for a instant near 
	the ice-breakers, by 
	the stone-cobbled bases 
		holding up 
		the iron-rust beams –

	Baby, we’ll dance 
	      as skeletons and then 
		    fall apart – 

Our bones fall to piles, 
and our piles turn to dust. 

      Our bones fall down 
	the steps 
	and to the rivers, 
	mixing, congealing. 

	You and I give 
		our echo-laughs, 
		one more time. 

	The gravestones are set, 
		but we’re not yet 
		ready to sleep – 

Baby-rattle with mine bones, 
	don’t bring me home 
		just yet, 
		mine love. 

IX

Our children’s seeds 
	will give but more seeds 
		to the seas, 
		blue and green 
			and dark. 

As bright as the moon’s ashen face 
	bears down 
	upon us, 
      I sing to you 
	forever, eternity, 
		you and me, 
			dissolving 
			to our 
			atoms and
			molecules –

X		

Adam and Eve dissolute, reforming,
	beginning again 
	in ten-million places, 
		carried in the faces 
		of all Men – carried  
		      within the dirt, 
		      within the oceans;

		the blue-eyed fish, 
		the whales-mammoth,
	the birds and gulls – 
	even our mighty Paumanok
			will fall 
			to the seas. 

But do not fear – 

      The cups and clay vessels 
	we carry (our bodies) 
		are but reflections 
			in a mirror, 
glints of sunlight 
   shooting ‘cross a room – 
	Do not fear,
	  We live –

XI

Kiss me, 
	you know 
	we are but shadows-
	manifest –

		fleshed hands might 
		well be as airs-
		invisible, 
		      for we are made 
			invisible 
			in time. 

And invisible-hands do make us, 
	take us, 
	creates us 		
	within images, 
	illusions: 

Against the pallet 
      and grandiosity 
      of ten trillion-trillion 
	stars burning –
	      you and I 
	      are but conscious specks
	      of dust.

XII				

Kiss mine bones 
	as we fall to 
	the riverwaters below, 
		kiss me and 
		hold me as we 
		      fall to the waters
			  below. 

When our white skeleton-
	dance ends, 
	what’s left is but 
		the splash of skulls 
		against 
		the rippling tides, 
tides forever moving, 
         on and on, 
without us, mine love, 
       I love you so –

XIII

What music plays? 
      What flute flutters 
	its keys upon the winds, 
	throughout this gentle valley,
	along these river-cataracts?

What draws me to you, 
      further toward 
	the deepest recesses, 
	      the caves, 
	      the snowed-mountains?

I am carried by instinct-purely. 
	I’m carried by your scent, 
	      floating, supine, 
		lifted upon 
		the rolling fogs, taken
		by the shadows, 

		shadows lunging 
		from trunk to trunk;

the trees listlessly sway, 
	escaping 
	the puerile moon, 
	escaping 
	myself. 

XIV

Mine face in the mirror 
	is a ghost 
	casting back 
		to me 
		mine gaze; 
			slowly 
			I become 
			    unreal, 
		I blur, 
		I deteriorate – 

I become as tangible as 
	the dirt and 
	the resin 
		of willow trees 
	drooping their lacy towels, 
		mossy, fuzzed, 
		gentle – opaque. 

	My mind flies away 
		from mine soft 
			hands 
		as a white feather
		flies away. 

O Mine trembling hands – 
	O the cold-thought! –	

You can breed and remake 
	new flesh and bone 
		and briny blood – 
	But the mind, the spirit, 
		is unsalvageable, 
			gone, 
			never again 

to witness the brimming fields 
	of apple orchards, 
	      the miles of grasses 
		dazzling 
		in thy light. 

	No, the spirit 
		goes numb 
		and joins 
		the earth, 
		again.

I am alive but once 
	in the history 
		of this Earth, 
		of this ‘verse – 

O Earth Immense, 
	Black-Space
	 Imperceptible –

XV

O How I wish 
	others question 
	themselves as 
		the deer 
		and the fox 
		and the rabbit 
		         rove throughout
		         the woodlands,
	throughout 
	the constellations, 
	      treading in 
	      the waters of the bay, 
		treading beneath 
		the pall 
		of starry-sky 
		and winter – 

cold, silent, creaking, harsh,
 numbing, beautiful, cognizant,
	 questioning –

O the serene groves of mine body, 
	place, time, future – 

O the serene recognition of pasts, 
	  of myself past –

XVI

Little does Man give ear 
      to the whispers 
	of the streamlined-fish, 
	whose lips endlessly speak 
		candor, peace, 
		and presence, 
		majesty –

the language of the lands and 
      kingdoms of the seas, 
	indecipherable,
	       innately known, 
	      inexpressible –

XVII

The black stallion with 
      spits of white color 
	neighs 
            in the chill 
	of autumn.

The bright sun warms 
	the cold-aches, 
	the airs. 

The consummated tree, 
	disrobed of leaf, life – 
		and of the loving 
		summer breezes 
		(cricket-songs) – 

settles into the slumber 
	of winter, 
	of drear-skies, 
	of dread-storms 
	piling up to thy neck 
	    frost, ice, snow – 

XVIII

The stallion mutters 
	a few words 
	under his breath; 
		mine whisperer sings 

the guttural chants 
	and rumblings of 
	heavy lungs 
	ready to shoot 
		across the fields, 

	pounding the sweet grasses 
		with hooves, 
	striking the wooden posts, 
		the wood-fence,
		bounding over 
			the barriers, 

leaping forth and escaping 
into the wild-lands – 

	escaping to fields 
		of cherries 
		and apricot, 
	and of blued-berries – 

	    forever 
		nourishing thyself 
		upon the roots 
		of nature, 

	growing, expanding, 
	            greening,
		living amongst 
		wild folk 
		without cloth, 
		naked and free, 

catching the food 
with strings 
bound and twined – 
	hemp-nettings,
	resting in a blanket of leaves,
	auburn, ruddy, and golden –

Occasionally spotting 
      a bright yellow leaf, 
	soft, lovely, alive, 
		silken, 
		caring – 

You touch the leaf 
	upon your face and feel 
		the stuff of the gods, 
		scripture, 
		and the ancient 
			temples 
			aligned 
			to the stars. 

You feel your ancestors watching 
	the bare sky, 
		unadorned with 
		fluorescent light 
		and chimney-smoke, 
			embers 
			flying 
			in the winds –

of ten-thousand thatched roofs, 
	red-bricks, 
	white chalk, 
	and streaming dark vines 
		crawling up
		thy walls, 
			up to thy 
			hair and eyes 
			and ears –

You feel for the first time 
	the gaze of your wild-being,
		your animal-being. 

Stripped of all human endeavor 
	and accretion, 
		you are 
		your birthright: 

	To be of the natural earth, 
		without language, 
		with only words – 

	You speak so softly 
		and yet so powerfully
			to the sky –

The stars shake 
	with your speak, 
		the moon breaks 
		         in your speak – 

and scuttles over the horizon, 
	chases away 
	from your might; 

secretly glancing back, 
	she whispers, 

	“Thy intellect 
		will ruin you.”

XIX

O How the Earth 
      bleeds life 
    		as trees 
		drop fruit, 
		liquor – 

	     I drink mine mind  
		       to this sense. 
I wish to ascend 
	as the osprey ascends 
	  	     so easily 
		     with open wings –
a simple swish 
	of limbs and off 
		   she goes 
‘cross the wash 
	of oceans 
	and glistening 
	sands. 

Up to the sun 
	she flies 
	and far away she goes, 
		high and higher, 
		screeching down 
		to the earth 
		her battle-cry. 

The Hunt is on and 
      the many-little swallows
	    fly in form, 

	black bodies, minute, 
	    red-crested, white-crested 
		little things 
		whizzing by, 
		escaping the talons, 
		escaping 
		the stabbing beak. 

O the dark, 
	sharp, 
	dead-eye 
		slips 
		of wing 
		crashing down upon 
		       little bodies! 

She, the osprey, carries 
	the broken-boned 
		meat 
		to the nests 
		      of her young – 

            youth devours, devours –

XX

O The swallows make such a fight! 
      One flees the talons, 
	three others support 
	      from behind 
		as if to chase 
		      the menace 
	           with their presence! 

	Desperately aiding, 
	      one little black swallow 
			flies 
			in chase – 

		Each cries 
		to the others 
			along 
			the tree-line –

communicating
	in furtive hushes, 

		seeking to keep
		the death 
		at bay –

XXI

The Old Fathers Rise, 
	knowing their time is near, 
		 and they bid farewell
		 to their wives 
		 and sisters – 
                              they bid farewell
	                  to their brothers.

Fights pitched against 
	the coming of the night, 
		torches alight, 
		eyes brimming 
		with bravery-feats, 

pounding the skies, 
	chanting, 
	escaping beneath 
	the bay’s reeds 
	and bursting forth 
	again 
	into the battle-fray!

Wing against wing, 
	sound against sound, 

shield-clatter, swords buckling – 
	 spears broken! 

The crash of brass-cymbals, 
	the war-drums beating, 
	      faster and faster, 
	      the beat of war! 

The charge and the crush, 
	the fallen fighting 
		by hand, 
		fingers in the eyes, 

		the bite of white teeth,
		the kicks and rolls 
		      in the grasses, 
		      the lying prone, 

the de-limbed, 
	the castrated, 
	the whimpering, 
		the holding-together 
		          of hands –

The cold-dressings of death, 
           the darkness of death,
		the valiant defense, 
		the sauntering, 
		the keeping of 
		the flame,

the hiding amongst 
	the rocks, the harvest, 	

the stealing away of brothers, sons,
      the theft, the theft, the theft! 

The cry, the wail, 
	the knees upon pews, 
	the hands begging 
		every day henceforth,
			forgiveness – 

Stop! –ask forgiveness!– drink – 
      bless – pray – O Take the wine! –

		And the bread
		       you must break 
		       for all thy years